Sunday, December 11, 2011

Scared .. Huh ...

You are almost half dead, if you don’t express yourself now, when will you… whom are you afraid of .. my dad asked me yesterday… He is in his early eighties and I am in my early fifties.. what a hard hitting statement.. the old man meant it.. he still writes 14 hours a day and doing well for himself.. I don’t read much of his writing though.. In fact I don’t read at all.. he was encouraging me to write … a short novel and he himself being a journalist and having authored many novels in the local language in southern India… he believes I have some strength to write… I have scribbled here and there and not really communicated much.. I am not too sure… am I afraid.. of expressing myself… a new rage came in to me and said. … are you afraid of expressing yourself… what are you afraid of… is this a mental block or your personality… BEING AFRAID… oh .. No man , thoughts don’t flow… there is no beginning , no mid story line , no ending to .. then what is the point in expressing… I can write for my pleasure.. tear of those pages or push the file into recycle bin and forget about it.. or push it into my blog and I am sure the vault there is super safe.. it is no man’s land … no visitors.. a quite corner and I can read when I want to and “ afraid of” .. did he touch a point of “expression “ and I kept asking myself the root of expression, the desire to express… sometimes you don’t express at all and Be Still… do you say.. communications are all gone… R the communications noisy… are all the days like your Monday Morning. There is going to be a fusion of combined energies.. energy to communicate and the energy to stay STILL… both at the same time.. nice to imagine.. at absolute stillness I am sure your potent is at the Peak… it is at the very very root … like my famous seed which is struggling to sprout… I am not alone, I am sure everyone needs to package their product.. be it you e commerce initiative or your mission as a teacher… express what… Is it fiction where you drive people into fantasy and you make a couple of bucks and live happily ever after or you write where you don’t care about a single reward and may be after many years you go away… some one picks it up and says .. WoW.. opposites.. Extremes they met .. True..

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